Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
