he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
