is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize