atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
