were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
