hotel room ftw
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
