you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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