bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
