Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
