Betty ford says i'm here all night
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
