I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Drunk is not a location!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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