Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There r osticjed everywhere
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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