she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
