I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
