Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
