Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
