Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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