why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
