I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
