Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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