I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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