I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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