even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You dont lie about slip and slides
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
