I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize