i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
