If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize