I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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