I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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