i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
