Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
