Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
