Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
