Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
