Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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