she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
