I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
