Midget sex pt 2 tonight
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we're making bets on your personal life
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
