what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
