should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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