Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
