You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do herpes really smell.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
