i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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