hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
