I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
