he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well you can't waste a boner
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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