He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
