I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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