maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
