I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
