Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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