i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
