So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
