As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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