isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
