I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
