Whod you bang
Can i not drive my cunt home
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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