Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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