So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There r osticjed everywhere
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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