dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do vagina's smell?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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