he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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