The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
