i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
