omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
